Unintelligent Design #1: Cold, Drowned and Toothless.

In the spirit of new series, The Pod is proud to bring you "Unintelligent Design," a new, weekly series exploring the mind blowing stupidity of selected biological adaptations. Dont Cry For Me, Im Already Dead

Kind reader, take pity on the Weddell seal.  A pitiable existence indeed.  The solitary Weddell seal has the distinction of being the only year-round mammalian occupant of the Antarctic ice shelf.  This point of questionable pride is responsible for shaving a good 40 percent off of the species' average life expectancy.  Why?  Because the dumb dears spend their wintry days constantly gnawing and re-gnawing on the crust of ice the periodically forms to cover thier beloved "breathing holes" in the antarctic floe.  Chew, chew, chew--until your teeth are ground to so much frozen dust.  At which point, the un-dentured Weddell seal promptly services the ecosystem by actualizing the posthumous materials re-cycling program that awaits all of us at the end.

An animal that gives up 15 or so years of life and embraces a life of tedious, deadly monotony to enjoy the freedom of sedentary existence in the coldest area on earth.  Truly a testament to the glory and wisdom of the lord and the unquestionable genius of his  creation...

What the fuck?!?

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